


Conspicuously

by Books_Tea_Fandoms



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: BLACKWING - Freeform, Brotzly - Freeform, Fluff, I just had a magical idea for a short fic that I had to write down, I mean the location doesn't matter a lot but whatever, M/M, Project Icarus, The boys are on the run from Blackwing as per
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-06 21:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12826686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Books_Tea_Fandoms/pseuds/Books_Tea_Fandoms
Summary: Cambridge, U.K. || Dirk Gently and Todd Brotzman are on the run from Blackwing. Again. As per usual. As Blackwing closes in on them, they have to take certain measures to remain unseen...(Based on that ~iconic~ scene from Captain America: The Winter Soldier. You know the one.)





	Conspicuously

**Author's Note:**

> (I need to stop going on long and unplanned absences from writing but my life has been busy (as per)). Hope y'all enjoy.  
> Just a note to say that this story takes place completely out of canon so it's not dependent on any particular events, and that St Cedd's is, location-wise, where St John's College is, just because that's sort of what it's based on.

As per usual, Dirk and Todd were on the run from Blackwing. Somehow, they had been traced all the way to England, to Cambridge more specifically, and now they were doing their best not to be spotted by an elite group of agents, headed by Friedkin. So far, they had done fairly well: Todd had even managed to persuade Dirk to forego his traditional shirt-tie-brightly-coloured jacket ensemble, instead opting for a faded hoodie and jeans. After narrowly avoiding being caught by ducking into the Porter's Lodge in St Cedd's (which Dirk was elated about despite the slightly bitter memory of being kicked out), the pair were feeling somewhat shaken.  
"Why don't we find somewhere public instead of running into the residence halls-"  
"Colleges." Dirk corrected under his breath.  
"Whatever. Where's the best public place to blend in?"  
"We could cross the river and head towards- no, that's too far- follow me!" Without another word, Dirk took off, and Todd had no choice but to follow him. Todd would have loved to have stopped and looked at the buildings, but he knew there wasn't time, and they had to keep a low profile. Anyway, Dirk was walking too quickly to have even mentioned stopping. Todd grabbed the cuff of Dirk's hoodie to slow him down a little, which he did, mostly so that he could ask Todd what he was doing.  
"If you're running, Dirk, you're going to look a lot more guilty than if you walk." Dirk huffed a little.  
"Sorry, Todd, I'm a little on edge at the moment."  
"It's gonna be fine."  
"Todd, there's an unusually high probability of death, or worse, being caught by Blackwing. It's not really going to be fine, is it?"  
"Well, we've just gotta take the measures we can to avoid being caught, and one of those is to not look like we're up to something."  
"Fine." Dirk thrust his hands into the hoodie pocket, and Todd let his own arms fall back to his side.  
"Where are we headed, anyway?"  
"The Grand Arcade."  
"What's that?"  
"A shopping centre, Todd, isn't it obvious?"  
"Not to me it's not."  
"Well, it should be." Dirk snapped; Todd attributed this to the nerves. "Although I'm not sure that we should go there."  
"Why?"  
"Just a feeling."  
"Like a universe feeling or panic?"  
"I can't tell. I think it's the universe." Todd took this news with some relief.

It was, in fact, regardless of the involvement of the universe, a terrible plan. Todd noticed a Blackwing agent as soon as they walked in. Thankfully, with Friedkin and not Priest in control of the unit, the stakes were ever so marginally below impossibly high and the agent didn't notice them. Todd stiffened slightly as they passed within feet of their enemy, but somehow Dirk managed to stay fairly calm, perhaps because there was a chance he was completely oblivious to what was going on. On seeing what may have been a Blackwing agent (or maybe a student in all-black (you can never be too careful)) after rounding the corner, Todd dragged Dirk into the nearest shop, which just happened to be an Apple Store. Initially, Todd was surprised that nobody came up to ask if he needed any help, seeing as that was the norm in the shops in Seattle, but this wasn't an entirely unwelcome surprise. He dragged Dirk to the back of the store, and stood next to him, facing away from the entrance.  
"This was a bad idea, Todd, a _very_ bad idea. Why did you let me embark on such a bad idea?"  
"Dirk, calm down. We'll get through this."  
"Well, you don't know that. All we know is that I may or may not have had a holistic feeling to come here, and it's looking more like the latter." Dirk was starting to get a little agitated, and his voice was getting louder, so Todd made an attempt to inconspicuously quieten him down by circling an arm around his waist, which definitely seemed to do the trick.  
"It's gonna be fine, Dirk." Todd muttered, feeling the warmth from Dirk seeping through the layers of clothing. Dirk sighed. A shop assistant finally bothered to approach them.  
"Can I help you?" She asked, looking timidly at them.  
"Yeah, can you tell us why this new Macbook is worth getting instead of getting last year's model which does exactly the same thing?" Dirk asked, loudly and snappishly. Todd knew he was on edge: he could feel the tension in Dirk's body. Knowing that the shop assistant was already timid enough, Todd tried to rectify the situation.  
"Babe, chill." Turning to the shop assistant, he shrugged his shoulders a little. "Sorry about him. He's a bit stressed at the moment, what with the wedding coming up and things." Todd felt Dirk sharply inhale, but gave Dirk's side a reassuring rub to ensure that he had the situation entirely under control.  
"Oh," The shop assistant replied somewhat awkwardly, "Congratulations."  
"Thanks." Dirk smiled, looking fondly down at Todd, who smiled fondly back. It was all too easy. "So anyway, Macbooks." Todd checked behind him briefly to make sure that nobody was there who could threaten him.  
"Right." The shop assistant agreed, launching into her spiel about the pros and cons of buying new versus old models of various laptops. Todd and Dirk pretended to be listening, nodding occasionally just to keep up the pretense of being engaged.

About ten minutes later, the pair emerged, Todd finally disentangling his arm from Dirk's side, who felt the lack of presence in that respect rather strongly.  
"Let's get out of here." Todd muttered; Dirk nodded softly. They turned to go out the opposite end to where they came in, but there was a Blackwing agent hovering uncertainly by the door. Dirk noticed it first, grabbing Todd's hand and pulling him in the other direction. Just before passing the escalator, Todd spotted another agent on the ground floor heading their way, so, still holding hands with Dirk, he took the escalator, only to see another agent coming down in the opposite direction.  
"Shit." Dirk was standing one step below him, staring in abject horror at this seemingly inescapable situation.  
Inescapable, that is, until Todd had a bright idea.  
"Kiss me." Todd looked Dirk urgently in the eye. "I'll explain later."  
"What-?" Dirk began, and then, knowing now was not the time for questions, followed Todd's order. Their lips met, Todd's hands finding Dirk's face and sliding back, entangling his fingers in Dirk's hair. For a moment, time stopped as the rush of physical sensation overwhelmed the both of them. Todd felt energy coursing between them, revelling in the sensations that flooded him from head to toe, feeling warmth building up inside him from his very core as his lips moved perfectly in time with Dirk's.  
All too quickly time caught up and they had to step off the escalator. With one final glance, Todd made sure that there were no agents around and led Dirk in the direction of the lifts that would take them towards the car park, which would hopefully be a safer way of getting out. Todd felt Dirk's hand slide into his own, stroking his thumb quietly up and down.  
"If I ask you, are you going to tell me what that was all about?" There was a moment of silence as Todd formulated a sentence in his head.  
"Well, people, being people, don't really like looking at public displays of affection, and so I thought it would be enough to divert the attention of Blackwing away from us so that we could escape." Todd felt Dirk's thumb stop moving against his hand.  
"Right."  
"And, well-" Todd stared at his shoes as they walked along.  
"Well what?"  
"Well, I didn't realise-"  
"Come on, Todd, it's only me you're talking to." Todd gave an unconvincing half-smile.  
"I didn't think it was going to- to affect me in the way that it did." Dirk breathed out through his nose.  
"Right." Dirk fell into a contemplative state, summoning the lift. When they doors opened, they stepped in, still silent, still holding hands.  
"Look, Dirk, I didn't mean to-"  
"No, it's fine, honestly, but if you're really not sure about- about this, then maybe-?"  
"Maybe what?" Dirk paused, taking a deep breath in.  
"Maybe we should try it again. I mean, I don't necessarily mean here or now but whe-" Dirk's rambling was cut off by warm, soft lips, Todd flush against him, hands snaking dangerously low along his back. Dirk opened his lips a little further, letting out a moan that was instantly muffled by Todd's tongue seeking entry, playing along Dirk's lips and exploring his mouth. Todd could feel his heart rate spiralling out of control, and his breathlessness threatening to overwhelm him.  
They pulled apart when the lift doors opened on the car park. Todd slipped his hand around Dirk's waist again and he could hear Dirk take a shaky breath in.  
"I think-" Dirk began, not really knowing where he was going with his sentence. "I think that probably mostly, if not completely, determined something for you, for me, for-" He trailed off.  
"I think it did." Todd smiled to himself, pulling Dirk that little bit closer.  
"Should we- do that again sometime?" Dirk asked, tentative and cautious.  
"That sounds like a fantastic idea, Dirk." Todd smiled.  
The sound of screeching tired behind them made them break apart and whip around to see where the noise came from. A menacing black jeep emerged from around the corner, with an awfully familiar government official sitting in the front.  
" _Shit!_ "


End file.
